I'll just keep DREAMING

Saturday, November 13, 2004
5:03 pm
i'm the dreamer ...

Woah. It's been quite some time since I last updated. Can't help it. My computer is down and I haven't been going down to school to stdy. The study environment there is getting from bad to worse sia. More and more people are going to school nowadays. Can't concentrate with so many people around, though my concentration span is ready short to start with. Haha.
Anyway, my Mom was commenting that even though I'm about to go into NS, I'm still behaving like a child at home. Lolz. Well, can't blame me right? Haha. I'm the youngest at home mahz, so I just have to act young without myself even knowing it. Haha. It's like I'm the prince at home, you know what I mean? Nvm. Haha. My language sucks, I know that. Haha.
Sigh. It's been a torture this few weeks. Studying really sucks, especially when you don't reap what you sow. Sigh. GP and Maths paper1 are over. Have to say I have been quite depressed after those papers. Think I flopped my Maths paper1 sia. It's all partial frctions' fault...~!!! Argghhh...12 marks gone. Just like that. And not forgetting those stupid careless mistakes I made. Argh. People have been telling me not to cry over split milk. Ya ya I know that. But I just can't help thinking about it. Sigh nvm. You won't understand, unless you are in thhe same suituation as me. Sigh sigh...
Next week is a crucial week. Just like someone said, it can either make you or break you. Sigh. Feeling quite insecure and demoralised, especially after the past papers. Argh... I had better buck up or else that's it man. Sigh... Life sucks.
Okay, tim to get back to work. Seeing how well Kok and Vincent concentrate really scare me sia. Don't know why I just can't stay focussed for very long. Sigh...

Tuesday, November 02, 2004
5:52 pm
i'm the dreamer ...

Sigh. I'm very frustrated now. Think I got to know something that I think I'm not supposed to know. Never mind. I shall just pretend that nothing has happened. Sometimes it pays to keep my own mouth shut. Should never have revealed anything to anyone. Thought I could trust people, but... Sigh. Never mind. I shall just move on. I have learnt my lesson. Never be too trusting. It will do me no good. This sucks...

1:49 pm
i'm the dreamer ...

Woah. I'm so damn tired now. Can't even concentrate. Slept at 1 plus last night. Was feeling damn guilty after the badminton session with the guys. Shit man. I shouldn't have played lor. Coz while i was playing, I was kinda distracted by the thought of all those things that I have not done with. Damn. Really not alot la. Sigh, thus even though I was super exhausted after I reached home, I forced myself to study. Okay, though it's not for very long, it kinda relieves some guilt in me. Haha.
Anyway, was talking to someone last night. Haha. Discussed about some appearance thingy. Seriously, looks do count alot. Even though many will deny that looks are superficial when looking for a companion, but c'mon la, be honest with yourself sia. Just imagine 2 persons coming up to you and begging you to take her as your girlfriend. One is say, Patricia Mok quality, and the other is Ruby Lin quality. Which would you choose? The answer is obvious isn't it? But if you want to deceive yourself, I have nothing more to say.
Oh by the way, someone said I look like a what?! Hamster?! Lolz. Interesting. Over the years, I have lotsa nicknames. But hamster? Haha... 1st time sia. Haha. But then, hamster is cute, so does that mean I...?? Lolz. Okay, I better stop before people puke till their intestines burst. Haha.
Sigh. Studying GP now. I'm getting more and more worried about my GP sia. Really no confidence in my language skills. This really sucks. Been having nightmares that I failed my A level GP. Argh... I'm praying hard sia...

Monday, November 01, 2004
1:28 pm
i'm the dreamer ...

In school library now. It's so damn noisy. Coz of some rich bitches (err...it's not Lydia kz...don't be mistaken...). Who did they think they are?? Just because they have more money they think they have the whole world to themselves. Bunch of spoilt brats. If not for the fact that they have some looks, I would have... I would have... Sigh. Think I won't dare to do anything also coz those bitches would most probably throw their damn fucking money in my face and tell me to get lost. Sigh. Now I know why Vincent is so obsessed with money. Haha.
Anyhow, I'm still hurting from those comments. I'm not sure if that person meant it, but it just hurts... Sigh. Now I know the meaning of being sensitive in one's speech. Words can hurt more than we think they will... Never mind. Shall just move on from here. Only thing I can do is to stop thinking about it. But it's hard... It will take some time to go away... Sigh...