I'll just keep DREAMING

Sunday, May 22, 2005
10:59 pm
i'm the dreamer ...

woah i like long time no update le. haha. as jun yuan said, we just don't feel like updating after we just came back from field camp. haha. and yes, last week was my field camp, and this week was my sit test. so it's 2 weeks outfield, and that is so sianz la. ok anyway, i was damn sianz and shagged out when i came back from field camp last week, so decided not to update. in fact, i didn't even bother to switch on my computer la. haha. anyway, i wasn't really shagged out by field camp la because i was on attend b status for half of the field camp. haha. okok i know people are going to scold me for chao keng again but i really never chao keng this time k. i got high fever of 39.4 lor. even the medic got a shock and panicked lor. haha. so in the end, i kenna sent back to company line and to the medical centre. and that was where my nightmare began sia. the medical centre there is really fucked up lor. i was having such a high fever and i was beginning to feel dizzy and weak and everything, but they made me wait out there in the super duper cold air con room for 4 freaking long hours. and guess what kinda patients they gave priority to? those with ankle and knee problems! wtf can... they really more serious then me la. fucked up medical centre lor. i'm so glad i didn't faint there man. anyway, the medical officer wanted to give me attend c la but i didn't want because i was afraid i would have to re attend field camp if i dio attend c, so i became attend b lor. so i really didn't chao keng k. the only time i chao keng was the previous time when i was abit dizzy k. and that was only for a day. haha. anyway, i was shagged out by the last day of field camp la. i was just off status that day and the activities for that day were super physically demanding, so all my sergeants advised me to stay out of them, but siao, it's BIC leh. if i missed that, i would have to go back during my block leave to make up lor. i really want that la. haha. so i went ahead. from field camp, we route marched to the BIC ground in SISPEC. and it's like super damn hot that day la. freaking hell, the rain god or whoever it is, was really making fun of us la. when we were wishing that it wouldn't rain during our outfield, it rained, and when we wished it rained on the last day so that we can cool down and get washed up abit and maybe get to sit tonner to BIC ground, it was so freaking hot that standing in the sun for 10 seconds can make you look like you are just out of the bath tub. ok, that was super exaggerated, but you get my point. anyway, the heat siren sounded off la, which indicated that it was above 34 degrees and all physical activities are to be stopped. but since no one wants to come back during block leave to make up for the BIC, our OC decided to go ahead with the activities. but seriously, can't he at least allow us to take the tonner to the BIC ground instead of making us march there? fuck sia. even though it's only like 6km and we only had our SBO and rifle on, we were all like struggling and dying liao lor. fuck. when we reach the BIC ground, we were all so drained lor. we were really depending on our perserverance to go through all those leopard crawls and back crawls and the throwing of grenade at the BIC ground la. freaking hell. i wouldn't want to go through that again sia, although i feel that SOC will be worse than this. haha. ok back to the topic. and after the BIC, we still had to route march back to company line la. wth. but that march still ok la because it was only about 3km and we were already thinking about book out, so abit high morale liao. haha. but it's still tiring lor. fuck. i was so super shagged when i reached home that i fell asleep when eating my dinner la. can you believe that? haha. ok so that's all for field camp because that's all i can remember plus the fact that it rained alot. all the field camp memories were covered over by the recent sit test memories. haha. who say field camp is the most unforgettable experience in bmt?? haha.
ok, so i just came back from my sit test. it was a test to realise our potential and ability to be commanders. so since i already decided not to become a commander, i slacked through the sit test. haha. and you know what's the worst thing? our company's sit test is already slacked without myself slacking. haha. well, actually it depends on what kinda sgt and officer you got for that day la. so maybe i should say "my detail" instead of "our company". haha. oh by the way, jun yuan joined my comapny for the sit test. haha. anyway, i was lucky that i got back my own section commander for my detail sgt la. haha. sgt ashik really good lor. slacked, helpful, understanding, and everything you can look for in a humane sgt. haha. he actually gave us his fresh ration after eating only one mouthful la. maybe it's because he saw that we were really struggling with the combat ration. haha. and man! tekong muslim food really not nice la. fuck man. it really is a drastic difference between the quality in chinese food and the muslim food la. kaoz. i'm so gonna tell them i have converted to a muslim during the next book in lor. anyway, the missions were ok on the first day la, but partly because our officer was slacked la. haha. slacked as in there were very few sudden instructions from him la, in fact only one or two lor. he just sat there and observed us complete our missions. but i must say, our plans for some of the missions really sucked like fuck la. but since i don't want to be a commander, i kept my mouth shut and just slacked behind and followed their fucked up plans. haha. i did santry for almost all the missions la. haha. can you imagine how slacked i was? haha. but i can still lead k. when i was the ic for one station, the missions succeeded and it ended up being the most successful mission for our detail for that day k. haha, though i must give credit to my 2ic also la. haha. ok that's for the first day's missions. the 2nd day was fucked up, mostly because of the fucked up officer we got. fuck man. he gave super lotsa sudden situations for us to deal with during each and every mission la. and guess what? i screwed up from the start of the 2nd day sit test. we beagn with an individual assessment where we have to write down our plan for a mission given to us. the officer's instructions were so not bloody clear la. i thought we can write down briefly our plans on the piece of paper so long that we can understand what we were writing and explained to the detail after that. i was so shocked when he asked us to hand in the piece of paper la. fuck man. mine really not brief la. haha. but i thought to myself, since i don't want to be a commander, why should i care so much? haha. so i just fuck care and hand in. haha. think i die liao. haha. anyway, the missions for that day were more challenging than the 1st day's. again, our plans were fucked up, but i didn't say anything, again. lol. and again, i did santry for most of the missions, thinking i would be able to slack again. but fuck, that officer gave us so many bloody sudden situations, and our ICs for that day were so bloody cocked up that all of us didn't know what to do sia. haha. so i think our detail will all die for the 2nd day's assessment sia. haha. but then seriously, the officer was really just being difficult la. let me just bring up one example. for that station i was the 2ic, but my ic was so bloody blur that i had no choice but to take over the giving of instructions. ok never mind. everything was going so smoothly. we set up the demo and claymine very quickly (because i was the one giving instructions. lol. no la, just joking. it was everyone's efforts la.), and the santry people were all in their respective positions ready for action liao. everything's so fine that i think the officer was jealous of us lor. haha. suddenly, he said one tank was approaching in our direction. ok so i got the law firer ready. when the tank was 100m away, i told the law to fire off because 100m was the most ideal distance for the law to hit a tank. and that freaking bastard officer actually said the law missed the tank. we were looking at one another and giving that 'whatever lor' look to each other la. then he said we were under heavy fire from the enemies and one by one, he pointed our detail members to be down. so we had 5 casualties and 7 men standing (1 guy fell out, another ooc). and then he said our stretcher was destroyed by the enemies and the mission was aborted and the medics were down and we had to evacuate the casualties and ourselves out of the area in 1 minute's time. wtf. we really feel like banging his head against our rifle butts and stabbing him 100 times with our bayonet sia. haha. argh can't stand it. but luckily sgt ashik was very nice la. even though the officer gave him instructions to make us leopard crawl for dunno how many minutes, he fucked care the instruction and asked us to go sit in the shade for 4 minutes. then after that, he asked us to prone on the sand and rolled a few rounds to make ourselves look dirty. then he 'ordered' us to look shagged upon reaching our next station. haha. shiok sia. i really felt like saluting him that time lor. haha.
so that's my sit test for you. haha. song bo. bet junyuan had a wonderful time with us raven lor. haha. it must have been an eye opener for him to see how slacked and ill-disciplined we raven recruits are. haha. even our instructors cannot control us lor. haha. raven really rawks sia. haha. and it rawks even more when you are in platoon 2 because all the good instructors are in my platoon. lol.

Sunday, May 01, 2005
12:16 pm
i'm the dreamer ...

for the whole of the past week in tekong, i have been counting down to my book out day for dunno how many dozens of times, but strangely, when i booked out, i'm not really that excited. it is quite ironic sometimes for ns men. on one hand, we are reluctant to report for our service in tekong but on the other hand, we are glad that we can finally find a place where we can forget all our civilian troubles. so come to think of it, it isn't so bad to be in tekong also, isn't it? though it's damn sianz, but all you have to do is follow orders and what's best is you don't have to crack your brains thinking of solutions to all your problems. in fact you will be so mentally and physically tired that you can't even think straight. so ns does have it's advantages also. now that i'm back to being a civilian, all the troubles that have been thrown to the back of my mind have all been resurfaced. life just sucks. it's even worse when you don't have anyone to share your burden with you and you have to hide your troubles from your parents and entertain them when they talk to you. i hate putting on a brave front, but i have no other choices. i don't want to disappoint them. oh how i hope i can rid myself of my brother and get myself another sibling, preferably an elder sister whom i can approach and talk to whenever i'm down. for once, i hope i can go back tekong quickly and let all my troubles disappear, even if it's only for a temporary period of time. the good thing about this next book in is that i won't be out till 2 weeks later coz of field camp. hope all the chiong sua and tekaning during field camp will make me forget everything else.